Step One – Take things on when they’re small
What in the past have you allowed to happen? Does any of this sound familiar?
Your first response always seems to be ‘yes’
You need to be seen as helpful and want all your relationships to be friendly
all of the time
The knots in your stomach seem to grow each time you face possible conflict
You’ve found it easier to give in than stick up for yourself
You just accept things rather than challenge or ask questions
You’ve just backed down when you feel your ideas are under attack
You’ve been getting more anxious and upset about work
You’ve allowed your workload to increase
You feel increasingly isolated and want to avoid others
You’re feeling increasingly bad about yourself
Step Two – Try a different mindset
What new mind set would it be helpful for you to experiment with?
‘I can stop and think and give myself time before responding’
‘I can explain to the client that certain extras are not part of the contract’
‘I can say that I’m happy to do them and that they will be billed accordingly’
‘I can tell my staff that I will support them if they say no’
‘I can ask for my manager’s support’
‘I can work smarter not harder’
‘I can stand up for myself and explain why I believe my ideas are valid’
‘I can be brief, direct and to the point when I explain things’
Step Three – Give yourself permission
What permission do you need to give yourself to tackle challenging situations assertively?
I have the right to represent the company fairly
I have the right to the resources including time to do the job properly
I have the right to have my views heard
I have the right to receive feedback on my ideas and learn how to improve them
I have the right not to be ridiculed whether it be in public or not
Step Four – Try on different beliefs
What win:win outcomes are possible for you and others?
As a business if we make sufficient profit : The customer will get a good service
If I present well thought through ideas: Others will be keen to pay attention to them
I’ll spend time understanding other’s concerns: They’ll feel more valued at work
