1. Have a clear sense of purpose of who you are and how you want to be in your life.
Write a personal vision statement as the first step in bringing focus to your life. Whether you do this by writing it down or by representing your vision as a drawing/picture, it is important to commit it to paper and keep it nearby. Writing it down lends power and commitment to your vision of yourself.
Your vision may be a result of answering questions such as: What are the 5 key values I believe in? At the end of my life, what would I want people to say about me?
2. Respect yourself, your abilities and opinions and do the same for others.
When you state your reasons for wanting or not wanting to do something, give the real reason and avoid supporting it with lots of others – they just weaken your credibility.
3. With relationships and problems seek first to understand and then to be understood.
You would not be impressed by your local GP if, as soon as you walked into the room, he diagnosed your ailment, issued you with medicine and sent you on your way.
Listen with respect and demonstrate you understand (you may not agree) someone else’s point of view. It is the easiest concession to make when you are influencing another.
4. Work with people in a win:win way.
People want to work with people that show interest in them and their welfare. Realise that you get more of what you want when you pay attention to what other people want. The law of reciprocity is powerful in all our undertakings with people.
5. Come with suggestions and solutions not just problems.
Be proactive in dealings with people. We can all too readily see the downside and focus on the problems. Think of what can be done as well as what can’t.
6. Demonstrate to people that they have unconditional value in your eyes.
Get to know them and show appreciation for who they are and what they do. To be shown you have value in someone else’s eyes is key to rapport.
7. Keep your promises and commitments.
Only agree to what you are prepared to do or to deliver – our personal integrity depends upon it. Learn to say ‘no’ in a respectful and firm way and negotiate a better result than agreeing to something you will not do so well, or at all. Trust is too precious to compromise.